Wow! Can you guys believe it? We're coming up on the 100 day mark! I never dreamed I would make it this far. So awesome.
So I started the week off right by taking my 30 minute walk around the neighborhood. It was actually a pretty day, despite it being kind of cold. I realized it's going to take some work to get myself back into the good habits I had going before Christmas. I came back from the walk a little more winded than I used to! But the important thing is that I got out and did it! Hopefully I can keep it up for the rest of the week.
I missed my Friday weigh-in this week, as I went home for Mom's birthday, so I'm going to try to remember to do it first thing tomorrow morning. I guess I could do it tonight, but the scale is always much kinder in the AM! So we'll get that going tomorrow. I did have birthday cake over the weekend, but I'm hoping it didn't throw me off too badly.
The goal for this week is to get back to planning meals and finding some new recipes. I have a bunch of veggies in my fridge going bad right now! I skipped lunch today, which was not the wisest choice...I know that if I plan ahead, I won't end up doing those sorts of things.
While I think that magic period of "This is so great, I love this, this is easy!" has passed, I'm still on track and am determined to see this thing through. I've dealt with more cravings lately than usual, and made the mistake of bringing some things into the house that keep me from making healthier choices. So I'm going to try to nix that. The good news is that I've found a form of exercise (the walking) that I enjoy and that I foresee myself continuing in the future. That's a huge step for me, as exercise has always been my biggest struggle. We'll keep plugging away at the food thing, too. The biggest thing is planning, as well as having strategies in place for when cravings hit. Gotta stock up on sugar-free gum!
All in all, the outlook is quite positive! I look forward to more success, and can't wait until I finally get to go down a pant size! That, my friends and family, will be cause for celebration. And shopping.
Love you all! Hope life is treating you well!
Today's Food:
Breakfast
Kashi Berry Blossom cereal w/ milk - 200
Coffee w/ creamer - 80
Lunch
Trader Joe's cheddar corn puffs - 140
Apple - 80
Dinner
Spinach and Chive Linguine w/ marinara, ground turkey, and goat cheese - 294
Green beans - 80
Snacks
Reduced fat peanut butter - 150
Kettle mix 100 calorie pack - 100
Total: 1124
So as you can see, I went a little overboard with carbs today. I've got to get out of that habit! I think I lose much better with carbs out of the picture. Might be back to phase 1 for me very soon!
Showing posts with label cake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cake. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day Sixty-One
Oh, boy. I'm up to my old tricks again.
I'm not going to make any excuses: claim Christmas, blame it on being at home, or any of the like. I have to be able to stay healthy in a variety of situations, and if simply coming home is enough to throw me off, I have a lot of work to do!
So it's confession time.
Confession #1: I've only exercised twice since I came home on December 13.
Confession #2: I made an Italian cream cake for our annual DeRosa/Hebrank/Krebs/Linton Christmas dinner. I licked the bowl. Both the batter bowl and the icing bowl. There was also a bowl of M&Ms on the counter while I was baking which I partook of far too frequently.
Confession #3: I had a piece of cake at dinner. A large one. I ate most of it.
Confession #4: The morning after, I ate leftover cake. And leftover mashed potatoes. And leftover M&Ms.
Confession #5: This morning I ate two spoonfuls of leftover cake icing. Thank God Mom threw the cake out.
These confessions are meant to serve the same purpose they would in a religious context. I'm stating my sins, asking for absolution, and beginning again with a clean slate.
I expected to experience a few pitfalls over the holidays, but it scares me all the same, when these old behaviors resurface. Even though I know I can't expect myself to be instantly and permanently cured of my food issues, every time I deviate just a little bit from being healthy I immediately feel like I've failed.
I think the biggest concern I have is not the fact that I ate some cake and mashed potatoes. It's the fact that I did a lot of it in secret, and experienced that familiar feeling of shame after I'd done it. The fear that someone in the house was going to notice that I'd eaten cake. The fear that they would also think I'm a failure.
Therein, I believe, lies the problem. I indulge in secret, and feel ashamed afterwards. These feelings of shame and failure lead to further secretive unhealthy eating, which will eventually result in actual failure.
So. I'm putting my sins out there for everyone to see, and I'm refusing to be ashamed. Instead, I'm going to wipe the slate clean and start again. A couple of days of cake will not ruin me! So we're going to focus on the positives:
Positive #1: While I indulged, I did not binge. In the past, had I been alone with half a leftover cake, another half of it would have been gone before the day was through. After the piece at dinner, I had a few more bites, at most. Mom ended up giving and throwing most of the cake away (the throwing away part at my request!).
Positive #2: I'm not nursing secret shame. At least, not anymore. I'm not letting it get me down. I'm not letting it lead to further bad decisions.
Positive #3: I'm using this slight downfall to facilitate further growth. I want to use this to encourage myself in the future, since I know this will not be the only downfall I'll ever experience.
Okay, so those are the only positives I can think of right now. :) But it's a start. The biggest step for me is putting all this out in the open instead of keeping it to myself and pretending it didn't happen. I know this blog has been my strength and support so far, and I intend to keep it that way!
Plan of action:
1. Get exercise today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that!
2. Go back to counting calories and posting them on the blog every night.
3. Post on the blog every night!
4. Plan meals for the rest of the week. Knowing what I'm going to eat ahead of time always makes for healthier decisions!
5. Don't beat myself up if I indulge in a few treats between now and Christmas. Continue to employ moderation and restraint.
Onward and upward! I know you guys are rooting for me!!
I'm not going to make any excuses: claim Christmas, blame it on being at home, or any of the like. I have to be able to stay healthy in a variety of situations, and if simply coming home is enough to throw me off, I have a lot of work to do!
So it's confession time.
Confession #1: I've only exercised twice since I came home on December 13.
Confession #2: I made an Italian cream cake for our annual DeRosa/Hebrank/Krebs/Linton Christmas dinner. I licked the bowl. Both the batter bowl and the icing bowl. There was also a bowl of M&Ms on the counter while I was baking which I partook of far too frequently.
Confession #3: I had a piece of cake at dinner. A large one. I ate most of it.
Confession #4: The morning after, I ate leftover cake. And leftover mashed potatoes. And leftover M&Ms.
Confession #5: This morning I ate two spoonfuls of leftover cake icing. Thank God Mom threw the cake out.
These confessions are meant to serve the same purpose they would in a religious context. I'm stating my sins, asking for absolution, and beginning again with a clean slate.
I expected to experience a few pitfalls over the holidays, but it scares me all the same, when these old behaviors resurface. Even though I know I can't expect myself to be instantly and permanently cured of my food issues, every time I deviate just a little bit from being healthy I immediately feel like I've failed.
I think the biggest concern I have is not the fact that I ate some cake and mashed potatoes. It's the fact that I did a lot of it in secret, and experienced that familiar feeling of shame after I'd done it. The fear that someone in the house was going to notice that I'd eaten cake. The fear that they would also think I'm a failure.
Therein, I believe, lies the problem. I indulge in secret, and feel ashamed afterwards. These feelings of shame and failure lead to further secretive unhealthy eating, which will eventually result in actual failure.
So. I'm putting my sins out there for everyone to see, and I'm refusing to be ashamed. Instead, I'm going to wipe the slate clean and start again. A couple of days of cake will not ruin me! So we're going to focus on the positives:
Positive #1: While I indulged, I did not binge. In the past, had I been alone with half a leftover cake, another half of it would have been gone before the day was through. After the piece at dinner, I had a few more bites, at most. Mom ended up giving and throwing most of the cake away (the throwing away part at my request!).
Positive #2: I'm not nursing secret shame. At least, not anymore. I'm not letting it get me down. I'm not letting it lead to further bad decisions.
Positive #3: I'm using this slight downfall to facilitate further growth. I want to use this to encourage myself in the future, since I know this will not be the only downfall I'll ever experience.
Okay, so those are the only positives I can think of right now. :) But it's a start. The biggest step for me is putting all this out in the open instead of keeping it to myself and pretending it didn't happen. I know this blog has been my strength and support so far, and I intend to keep it that way!
Plan of action:
1. Get exercise today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that!
2. Go back to counting calories and posting them on the blog every night.
3. Post on the blog every night!
4. Plan meals for the rest of the week. Knowing what I'm going to eat ahead of time always makes for healthier decisions!
5. Don't beat myself up if I indulge in a few treats between now and Christmas. Continue to employ moderation and restraint.
Onward and upward! I know you guys are rooting for me!!
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